You Might Be a Spammer If…

It’s funny to me how so many spammers are in denial and don’t actually think of themselves as spammers. So I thought I’d put together a little list of activities to help determine if you are a spammer.

Before I start, I will say there are shades of grey in the world of email marketing. Sometimes, what is spam to one person might be seen as convenient and appropriate by another.

  • If you send email to masses of people who have no idea who you are… you might be a spammer.
  • If you are afraid to include your name and phone number in the email messages you send out of the fear of backlash… you might be a spammer.
  • If your site is constantly being shut down and forced to change ISPs because of your email abuse… you might be a spammer.
  • If more people complain about your email messages, than actually buy your products… you might be a spammer.
  • If you are afraid to tell people at parties what you do for a living… you might be a spammer.
  • If you define success as one out of every 100,000 marketing pieces being opened … you might be a spammer.
  • If you sell Viagra, home loans, or herbal remedies via email… you might be a spammer.
  • If you take great pride in the fact that you allow people to “opt-out” from your marketing list so that you can then sell their name and email address to others… you might be a spammer.
  • If you need to lie on a regular basis to customers and other business associates about your products or services… you might be spammer.
  • If, when questioned about your marketing practices, you reply with, “Well, other people send me spam. What’s the big deal?”… you might be a spammer.
  • If you can’t comprehend the difference between junk postal mail, which is paid for by the sender, and junk email, which is paid for by the recipient in lost time and increased aggravation… you might be a spammer.
  • If you are clueless, vain, and insensitive to anyone but yourself, and you thirst for making money regardless of how many people you inconvenience or irritate… you might be a spammer.
  • If you interpret the fact that the people you email haven’t actually visited your house and strangled you to death as “permission” to email them countless offers for which they have no interest in… you might be a spammer.
  • If you use a computer program to electronically gather the email addresses of unsuspecting businesses and consumers so that you can blast them with offers for a myriad of things you’d never buy yourself… you might be a spammer.
  • If you set up false opt-out buttons that only subscribe your audience to more junk lists… you might be a spammer.
  • If you have to send your entire offer in graphical format because you are afraid servers will be able to read your messages and block the filth you distribute… you might be a spammer.
  • If you have little concern for the innocence of children who may receive your porn offers and body part enlargement pills… you might be a spammer.
  • If you email people using a fake or junk reply mailbox… you might be a spammer.
  • If you email large groups of people who have never heard of you and never opted to receive messages from you or the company you are renting your list from… you might be a spammer.

I think I’m being a bit too kind when I say you might be spammer. Most of these actions would definitely make you a spammer, and consequently make you hated by a large portion of the web population.

Now, let’s learn what happens to spammers…